Feelings helpless/hopeless..

I obviously haven't updated my blog in a while. I've been having some trouble with depression and haven't felt motivated in quite a while. It has been getting better lately but my bad days still outweigh my good.

I just feel like everything is so much bigger than me. Like nothing I do is going to ever really matter in the whole scheme of things. I'm stuck in this system that I cannot ever accept and I'm supposed to work within it and make a life?! I'm having the worst time trying to do that.

I feel like it is designed to hold people down and to keep them there. It's purpose is to destroy people to benefit very few others. To tell you the truth I just don't know what to do. I felt so motivated and then got so overwhelmed by how completely messed up and flawed the system is and just gave up. How can I work to make things better for this world within a flawed system? It would be senseless.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm being completely realistic or if maybe I'm not being optimistic enough. I just think there is no point to optimism if the reality of the situation says otherwise.

So what do I do? Do I continue to struggle never to get ahead within this failed system? What kills me inside is that I know that the world doesn't have to be this way and that we have the resources we need for it to be better but it is not going to happen. The people that are in control in this world do not care. They do not care about me or you.

There is no working within a flawed system to make things better. The best thing I can think of to do is to encourage the system to crash and burn so that the opportunity for a better world can then be worked towards.

I just don't know what to do with myself in the meantime. I'm drowning in student loan debt from a college education that means nothing. I am not able to get by on my own. When is enough going to be enough?

I know I'm not the only one out there that is in this situation.